Straight Knitting Needles

How to ruin a bit of fun

Charity ICA Bootcamp is the perfect example of a modest and enjoyable little concept being crushed by the weight of rapid overkill.

The original ICA Bootcamp, piloted in 2010 and followed by a short series earlier this year, featured quartets of pampered urban chicks being sent into the country to be educated in traditional homemaking skills by a trio of matronly ICA hens who know their onions from their shallots.

After much good-natured comedic stumbling about and the occasional bout of high-pitched screaming, invariably at the sight of a dead animal on a chopping block or a lump of something a live animal had deposited on the ground, the girls usually departed, if not quite transformed, then at least cognisant that there's more to life than high heels, lip gloss and glistening, diamond-hard nails.

This bloated, pimped-up spin-off features 16 "personalities", mostly C-listers, packed into groups of four and competing for charity in episodes staggered across the week, climaxing in a live final, hosted by Blathnaid Ni Chofaigh.

Neither Ni Chofaigh, RTE's most over-employed face, nor Lucy Kennedy, who provides the faintly vulgar voiceover, were involved in the original series, which is some indication of the needless hyper-inflation at work here.

In honour of its new status, the series has been upgraded from a late-ish slot on RTE2 to a primetime berth on RTE1.

The ICA women -- Imelda, Josephine and new addition Marie -- remain as warm and likeable as ever, but in line with the series' new air of forced competitiveness, they were lined up like military martinets on the steps of ICA HQ in Termonfeckin, Co Louth, as the first batch of celebrities -- former rugby star Peter Clohessy, burlesque dancer Emma Quinlan, ex-Green Party TD Paul Gogarty and Operation Transformation's obesity guru Dr Eva Orsmond -- rolled up in limousines.

Orsmond set the tone straight away: "I'm extremely competitive. I don't know how to explain it, but, yeah, I'm very competitive." Sounds like a good way of explaining it, if you ask me.

Clohessy, who you'd imagine would know better than to be spouting such guff, quickly got with programme. "I don't do something and do it by halves," he growled, "I just go for it." Yeah, right, Peter. You tell those knitting needles who's boss.

As the four of them gathered in an old-fashioned living room for the preliminaries, Orsmond immediately staked her claim to the title. "I thought this was celebrity bootcamp, but I don't know who any of you are! I'm the only celebrity here.

Knitshop.co.uk: Knitting Needle Guide

Choosing the right needles and yarn for the right tension can often be the key to success when starting a new project. If you are working from a pattern, most patterns will supply all the information required from what size needles to use and what yarns they suggest as well as the tension. We have put together a guide on on knitting needles, so you can achieve a perfect project from start to knitting. If you are planning to knit in the round for socks, seamless knitting or flat knitting then you will require circular knitting needles which are linked with a flexible plastic cord in the middle. These will vary in lengths and this will need to be considered for your project. The rule is generally to obtain needles a little smaller than the circumference of your project. Take into consideration any increases or decreases in the pattern and use the smallest circumference of the pattern. Double pointed needles (dpns) are pointed at both ends and come in sets of four or five needles and are also used for circular and seamless knitting and are great for socks. These are best for shaping and three dimensional knitting. Needles are available in all sizes and length. Sizes available at knitshop.co.uk reach from as low as 1.6mm to 23mm giants .The thickness of a needle will determine the finished size, tension and look of your finished project. This will affect your knitting and the choice can be difficult but needs to be made at the start of the project and according to the yarn you have chosen. Even more confusingly, needles are available in varying lengths. Although this will not affect your project as much as circumference, it is still worthwhile considering. For wider projects, a longer needle should be used and narrower projects a shorter needle used. You will also need to consider yarn thickness in the equation, the thicker the yarn the more space it will take on a needle. The home of natural yarn: wool, cotton, silk for knitting and wool top and tools for felting knitshop.co.uk is offering a wide range of designer knitting & crochet yarn, starting from our own branded yarn, which is made of high quality fibres and natural materials, as well as well known brands. If you are interested in felting and spinning, there is a wide range of merino wool, wool tops, fleece & rovings, and 100% wool yarn for knit-felted projects. A full list of knitting and felting accessories can be found on the knitshop.co.

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